


Please, no

by TheSwanSong



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, Arranged Marriage, Early Clone Wars, F/M, Fi is a little shit and he knows it, Follows Republic Commando Series, Jedi, Multi, Niner tries to be slick about his pining, OC's connection to the Force is emotional, References to Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), but Fi never lets him, technically grey jedi, yoda is a little shit and we all know it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwanSong/pseuds/TheSwanSong
Summary: Spy, grey, now General? Asha has her hands full when Kal calls in a favor, even when that favor benefits both her and the Republic. But why should anything in a Jedi's life ever be easy? Where would the fun be in that?
Relationships: Original Clone Trooper Character(s) & Original Female Character(s), RC-1309 | IC-1309 | Niner Skirata/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	1. 1

"You have to let go!" He commanded as he swung in open air, my hands gripping his right forearm as tightly as I could. I could barely hear him over the blood rushing through my ears.

"You'll die if I do." I reminded as I tensed my left arm to limit how much the bone stretched away from the socket. I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes and narrowly missed him, his brown eyes seeming to memorize me with a sad expression. "Don't make this goodbye." I begged as I slid a little further off of the cliff edge. 

He continued to stare for a moment before he began testing the usability of his other arm "I love you, you know that right?" He asked, saying his goodbyes without actually saying the words. My crying got harder at the realization, trying to adjust my grip.

"I n-never doubted it." I sobbed, digging my claws into the deep green katarn to avoid it slipping too much, creating two little trenches in the armor as my grip slipped for a few inches. I groaned as I gripped harder and tried to pull him up so that he would be safe. 

"Never forget it, doll." He smiled sadly, using his pet name for me one last time before reaching up to disengage his arm guard.

"Lack, what are you doing? Don't! Lack!" I yelled as he smiled up at me sadly one more time before falling into the depths below "LACK!" I screamed, reaching out to him as everything seemed to fail me in that moment. I watched, even when I couldn't see him anymore, until I heard that tale tell wet crunching thump that made my sobs deepen with a vengeance "Lack..." I called, my voice breaking at the end. All I had left of him was his vambrace and anything he had left at our shared apartment, and I clutched that piece of katarn to my chest as I retreated from the edge of the cliff and rolled painfully onto my back. The sobs never stopped for a moment. 

When I woke from a nap I didn't even know I took, I was dehydrated and delirious, mumbling responses to questions I couldn't even understand. I was placed on a hover stretcher, the katarn never even flicked by anyone else, and everything went black again. When I woke, I was groggy and felt like I had been hit by a destroyer, my shoulder being the source of the worst of the pain, even though it was tightly wrapped and a droid that was pumping more pain meds into my system the very moment that I was waking. "How are you feeling, Master Malcolm?" It asked in a calm and soothing voice. Even though expressionless, it seemed to look down at me expectantly. 

I was instantly annoyed though, barely restraining a growl as I slowly sat up to better think of my answer. I was a Jedi, I was better than the hormonally charged responses that my biology wanted to spit forth. "There is pain and discomfort that I can deal with." I assured with feign patience. "When can I leave? I'd like to get myself back up to form." I asked, my impatience showing slightly under the surface of the words. It was fifty fifty if it would go over the droid's head. 

It blinked at me as its head tilted slightly to the side, regarding me because of my verbal hostility. It was better programmed than I had thought it was "I would like for you to stay until midday tomorrow, give your shoulder proper time to heal. It experienced much stress and many of the muscle strands were torn. Even with your accelerated healing, this will take time." It explained as it finished the injection and crossed its arms in front of itself. I frowned and dug my teeth into my lower lip at the memory of why my shoulder was torn, willing myself to not start crying as I was in a place where such emotions were frowned upon. I didn't doubt that Master Yoda had felt them as soon as they had happened though, he had a knack for such things. Wordlessly I nodded my consent and understanding, laying back down and getting comfortable as I fell into meditation to try and keep myself calm and collected.


	2. 2

Time has no meaning in the Force, it was ever moving in all directions like a sea of swirling colors. I felt the calm wash over me, but never through me, as I immersed myself and tried to fend off the Partnership hormones that were driving my rage and annoyance. I had just lost the one I had considered Partner, but my biology noted that there was nothing to help ensure the survival of the species in my womb, so it was onto the next Partner. I greatly disliked my biology and the Sith who had created the species many thousands of years ago. At midday that next day, the droid scanned my shoulder and released me with a light work order so that newly created bonds would solidify and strengthen instead of tear again. The droid even promised to not be so kind if I came back with the shoulder torn again in any definition of soon. I liked that droid. 

"Master Malcolm, I am glad to see you well." Master Kenobi greeted with a bow and a smile on his face, his blue eyes filled with that warmth I always admired. 

"Hello Master Kenobi." I greeted in return, not having anything nice to say in return. He seemed to understand as he gave a final smile and returned to making his way where ever he was going. 

A few feet away, he made a sort of soft noise and turned around to me again. Even with the hormones, I would have all of the patience in the universe for my friend. I turned to him stoically, hands clasped in front of me with a kind expression "Master Yoda requested that I ask you to meet him in the garden, if I saw you." He paused for a moment, seeming to look into my soul with those crisp morning blue eyes of his "I am glad that you are safe, Asha." He gave me a last kind-hearted smile and a nod of his head before going on his way again. That pit of sadness wakened in my belly again as I stared after him for a few seconds before turning and making my way towards the courtyard garden, reining in my emotions the entire way to not alert my old Master. 

I had to admit, the sunshine felt good on what skin I had chosen to show, it felt like a warm caress from a kind den-mother. My pace slowed without bidding as I closed my eyes to further soak in the feeling, enjoying the tranquility "Feel good, it does." Came the gravel voice I had always cherished as a pup, the voice who still guided me when I needed the advise.

"It does, Master." I agreed, opening my eyes and making my way to the little green Jedi who appeared to be meditating on a small river stone pier. Without being instructed or invited, I sat next to him in a similar position, my hands neatly folded on my crossed ankles in a sign of focus that my people used. "Master Kenobi mentioned that you wanted to see me, Master." I kept my voice soft and light, avoiding eavesdroppers and trying to appear fine. I shouldn't have bothered, this being was deeply entrenched in everyone's true emotions. 

His eyes never opened but he did tilt his head so that his right ear was lined up to me better "Asked him to invite you, I did. How you are feeling, I wonder." He admitted, giving me a chance to admit and open myself to someone else. He knew about Lackluster, he had allowed it because of my species. But I expected him to be disappointed because of my lack of keeping myself above attachment. I didn't regret it, loving Lack had been like a bright blissful supernova that I'm glad I didn't miss. 

I sighed and hung my head, separating my hands as they became interesting "I feel that need again Master, that want of affection and Partnership. I know that I shouldn't because of what happened, and I know that what happened was my fault because my panic blocked my connection with the Force." I stopped my self beating session when he hummed next to me, taking the moment to realize that those sad eyes were watching me as though the owner pitied me beyond reckoning. I tightly braided my fingers in my lap and curled my shoulders like a child waiting for a scolding, not even flinching when my left shoulder twinged in protest. 

"Your fault it is not, nobody's fault, but Separatists." He assured me even though I didn't completely take it to heart. It was one of those things. 

I frowned and looked up at the busy sky, willing myself to not become as angry as the Soul wanted me to become, the images of chaos and destruction making me shiver and mentally shy away from it. It still managed to sink its proverbial claws into me and sharpen my senses "Forgive me Master, but I can't completely believe you." I said as respectfully as possible while having a mental battle with the Soul. Few of my kind were cursed with a Soul that was so different from them that there was an internal war at any point in time. My guess was that it had something to do with my half breed status. 

He hummed again, turning to watch the younglings that filtered out onto a practice deck up the side of the temple a ways, eagerly chatting as old Master Sinube turned to them to begin the lesson "Spar against a friend you should, relieve tension, until a new Partner, you find." He advised when he realized that I truly was in a dark place mentally. It was a dangerous place to be, but there were delicate ways to deal with it. I stood and bowed deeply from the waist, hanging there for a brief second before going back inside to find someone to help me with my problem. 

Luck was with me when I found Knight Skywalker, bored as could be because Senator Amidala was in a lengthy Senate meeting that he could not attend. Of course I knew about them, you had to willingly blind yourself in denial to not see all of the signs of their romance. Also, Skywalker had gone to me for date advice once or twice when he was fresh out of ideas, and she was upset with him. "Hello Master Malcolm." He greeted with a strained smile, crossing his arms to try and seem like he wasn't as bored as he really was. 

"Hello Ani. I was wondering if you would like to spar with me." I got straight to the point, not seeing a reason to mince words or beat around the bush when there was no need to. 

He stared at me for a moment before cracking a smile that was neither mocking nor friendly, more of in the middle "I thought you preferred to spar with Obi-wan." Came his snarky response as he moved closer so that our conversation was a little more personal and not as public. 

I grin at him in a near feral fashion, he technically hadn't said no "I feel the need to spar against someone who doesn't pull their punches, and cheats a little." I broadened my grin as I winked at his sudden indignance. Riling him up seemed the best way to get a truly good fight. I would eat that thought later.

"Challenge accepted. Main training room in ten minutes." He scowled, trying to loom over me. He was failing to remember that I regularly worked along side Commandos and ARCs, and was used to a scarier breed of male.

"Don't be late." I agreed before we parted ways, taking separate ways to the main training room. Once there, it became plain that several other Jedis, Masters and Knights, came to observe, his Padawan, Ahsoka, as well as several classes of younglings to watch what a proper lightsaber dual should look like. We both shrugged off our cloaks and picked up training sabers to not hurt each other too much. My two glowed a pure white, same as his one. We squared off silently and bowed from the waist before getting into defensive positions. He leapt first, trying to use an over head strike as I simply jumped back and attacked when he was solidly on the ground. It wasn't a long dual, only lasting a handful of minutes, but it was enough for the Soul to take control enough to vent on Anakin in a way that was not appropriate for a Jedi, using its anger to strengthen its attacks and nearly hurting him badly. Only when the match ended in a panting draw did the Soul retreat and I had to see the wreckage from the fight and a slightly scared Anakin. The younglings were all hiding behind the older Jedi in fear. I deactivated and threw down the training sabers as I stepped away in shame before catching Yoda's eye and collecting my things before running to my off temple apartment for solace and a chance to regain myself. I clutched the deep green vambrace as I wept in shame that evening.


	3. 3

It took three days of me staying in my home and skipping all interaction, before Master Yoda and Master Windu called me up to the Council room for a private conversation. I wore the Katarn piece on my right forearm, barely hidden by my robe as the lift opened to the Council room and the two patient Masters. What startled me was their guest. Black armor of Omega Squad covered him, though I was certain I knew the face under that helmet as he turned to face me. The Soul came forward a little in interest and I could see the golden glow my eyes cast in the glass just to his right. There was an interest, while I myself was not interested and was confused and hurt. I didn't want to see that painful face. "How feel you?" Yoda asked, turning around slowly while Master Windu watched me cautiously. It seemed to be logical, just three days before I was no better than a sith. 

I stood in the middle of the ornate floor and hung my head low and to the left slightly in submission "Ashamed, Master. I let the Soul take too much control." I answered with all honesty, still keeping my head down as the commando shifted to potentially protect the two Jedi. My guess was that was why he was there. 

Master Windu took a step forward and kept his signature gentle and caring like a father figure "Given the circumstances, such a lapse is understandable." He assured me with a soft sigh.

"Forgive me Master, but I am a Jedi, I am supposed to be better than my nature." I looked up but didn't look him in the eye: it was a challenging gesture, and kept my hands delicately braided together in front of me.

"Familiar, are you, with Sergeant one three zero nine?" Yoda asked, expertly changing the subject. 

"Yes Master, we worked together on Qiilura. That was an entertaining mission." I sent a soft smile to Niner at the memories of trying to salvage something that had almost gone very badly. Hokan was a right bastard; smart and resourceful, but a bastard. Then there was the whole mishap with the evacuation droid bucket and trying to both fit on a bed on explosives. 

"It was indeed ma'am." Niner agreed, relaxing enough to take his hands off his deece and take an at ease position. 

"Good. Good. Decided, we have, that Sergeant one three zero nine, your Partner, to be." Yoda informed with a sort of smile and a brightness to him. I said nothing as I nodded solemnly, having expected my old Master to try and help in some way. "Tonight, the ceremony is." He said with finality when neither of us protested. I wanted to, I really wanted to, not being over Lack... but the Soul kept my mouth shut. Niner didn't say anything either. The fact that we were expected to marry surprised me and consumed my thoughts as we used the lift to go down to the entrance level. 

Niner hesitated a little as I stepped out and headed towards the entrance, causing me to pause and turn back towards him "You coming, soldier?" I asked with a small flip of the wisps of hair that had escaped my long braid. 

I imagined a blush under that bucket as he quickly made his way to where I was and matched his pace to mine as we made to leave the mega-structure "I'm sorry ma'am, why are we leaving the Temple? Shouldn't we stay in the Temple until summoned?" I guess he was right, but I was having cravings and needed some 'fresh' air and staying inside, waiting for my newfound fate, wasn't going to settle well with me. 

I brushed off the question with an aloof shrug "You hungry, Niner?" I asked, looking up at him with a knowing smile. Commandos were always up for food that wasn't a ration cube, it was common knowledge. I could feel him trying to figure me out, that he had thought he knew me like a book because I was a Jedi. I guess I was shattering that cookie cutter of his. "There's this great food cart that normally hangs around the Senate Gardens, delicious without stressing the pocket book. My treat." I grinned up at him and started leading him while walking next to him, looking like we were almost of parade as people parted for us. 

"May I ask a question ma'am?" He asked suddenly as we entered the Gardens, his tone betraying his concern. 

"Asha." I corrected, looking for the cart as I began salivating at the smell of delicious food. I began the beeline as soon as I saw it.

"Asha, sorry. Are you nervous?" He asked, not feeling like the serious man he normally did. There was something innocent and vulnerable about him. 

"'The Force is trust' is what we're taught as pups on Pelé. I trust that the Force had a hand in guiding my old Master to his decision, therefore there is nothing to be nervous about. Are you nervous, Niner?" I asked, looking up at him as he took a few moments to decide what he wanted to eat. I could feel his wonder and eagerness, paired with the reminder that he had to be considerate since I was paying "Get whatever you want." I encouraged him as the owner of the cart gave us a warm and welcoming smile when he recognized me. 

"Haven't seen you in a bit, missy. Where's Lack? I miss his patronage." The old man meant well, and the deaths of clones weren't advertised like the deaths of non-clone personal and civvies. 

Didn't stop the souring of my mood as I fought to keep my smile that turned tight and forced "Lieutenant Lackluster was KIA." I answered tightly, no longer able to keep my corpse of a smile as it thinned my lips into little pink lines.

The old man immediately sobered and bowed his head "I'm very sorry." He handed us our orders and I tried to hand him the credits "On the house, missy." He gave me a sad little smile before I dumped the amount in the tip jar and we made our way to a more secluded part of the Garden that had a very nice fish pond and statues of great long dead Senators.

We sat on the bench and Niner removed his helmet, revealing that accursed face and freshly cut black hair. He didn't dig in immediately, instead staring at the food for a moment before turning to look at me "I'm nervous, I've never been with a woman before and you're a Jedi. I thought Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments. I'm also nervous because, what if I never make it home?" He spoke so quickly and with such conviction, I almost didn't register exactly what he was saying. 

I finished my bite of roasted potatoes and matched his stare "I'm assuming that from now on, I'll be deploying with you and your squad. As for the rest, I'm a Peléian Jedi, I'm hardwired to find a Partner during times of mass die off of my species, if I don't already have a Mate. And as far as relationships, I'm as low maintenance as a person can get." I answered, trying to ease his unease, to make him more comfortable with the entire situation we found ourselves in. 

He ate a few bites as he thought hard about something, feeling elated after the first bite but remaining controlled with good manners "It was my squad that retrieved you and eighteen ninety-nine's remains that day." His words stopped me mid-bite as I stared down at the cobblestones not far from our feet "You tried to save him didn't you?" 

I put my food down and cleared my throat, somewhat ignoring how his eyes drilled into me "I tried to save him, yes. Even if it meant losing my arm. I didn't care about the costs as long as he was safe. But he decided that he wasn't worth it and made me let go." I clenched my jaw against the choking emotions in my throat that wanted to come out through my tear ducts. The Soul for once was a comforting presence that created a sort of warmth in my being. 

"He made you let go?" He asked, perplexed at my wording, though he felt like he wasn't surprised by the actions. Wordlessly, I showed him the vambrace and returned to eating, no longer in the mood for conversation or happiness. Needless to say, we finished eating in silence and made our way back to the Temple, ignoring how people stared at the commando who had decided to walk with his bucket tucked under his left arm. 

As soon as we crossed the massive threshold, a young Knight rushed up to us, slightly out of breath, and red in the face "Master Malcolm, the Council has summoned you and Sergeant one three zero nine." The poor kid was a panting mess, hands on his knees after his message had been relayed. He had probably been running around the Temple complex looking for us. 

"Thank you." I bowed my head to him and shared a look with Niner before we made our way to the lift up to the Council tower. Niner was practically humming with energy as he physically restrained himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet. "It'll be alright, Niner." I reassured him with a gentle hand on his upper arm where there was a gap in the armor. As expected, he was warm and there was a further sense of something that he was restraining from the Force. He must have known that I was constantly checking up on his state of mind. I blushed at it's intensity, even though I couldn't tell what it was, before letting go and straightening up just before the doors opened. 

I can't really say that I was surprised when it was only Master Yoda, Master Windu and Sergeant Skirata. I was happy that he was there, Niner was essentially one of his sons. "You both know the Mandalorian marriage vows, yes?" Windu asked in a more formal fashion as Kal sized me up in a new light than one of friendship. We both nodded, hands clasped in front of us. "If you will." He motioned to us with all the patience in the universe. 

Niner and I turned to each other, suddenly awkward in our movements as we clasped forearms "Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde." We said in unison. It was a simple contract of a marriage, but it was just as binding as any. I almost could have sworn that Kal was tearing up as he beamed at us with pride as the two Masters clapped softly with warm smiles. 

I looked up at Niner who was blushing like mad and looked somewhere between pleased and downright scared, inside he was all over the place. I didn't realize I was staring until a hand clamped onto my shoulder while its partner clamped onto Niner's "Welcome to the family, Asha. You be good to her, ya hear?" Kal looked between the two of us like a proud father. He practically was Niner's father, he had raised him and trained him and many other clones. It was hard to not create a sort of familial bond through what those boys went through.

I blushed and smiled, patting Kal's hand with my own "Don't worry about that Kal-buir." Niner assured with a small duck of his head. 

"You two go celebrate. Niner has to ship back out in the morning." He reminded us before giving Niner a last slap on the shoulder and directing us to the lifts. There was a feeling of grim resignation with simmering determination and disappointment as well as anger and fierce protectiveness to him that hit me like a metric tonne of guilt. 

In the lifts, I turned to Niner, wanting to get some things on the ground before anything untoward happened "Niner, I'd like for this to progress at it's own pace: I don't want you to feel forced to do things you don't feel comfortable doing. There's no obligation anywhere." I didn't look him in the eye still, wanting to be respectful, not challenging.

"General Windu said that if we don't... you'll eventually be over come with anger and the dark side." He argued awkwardly even though there was a sense of relief and relaxation to him. 

I couldn't quell the growl that filled the lift suddenly, the Soul and I both feeling undignified, lied to, and betrayed by a friend "I can deal with any aggravation that the Soul feels through a special tea. But falling to the dark side, from lack of sex? That has never happened to one of my kind before. Believe nothing Windu tells you from now on. The karking chakaar." The insult was a mumbled growl, but that didn't stop him from momentarily staring at me wide eyed. "What?" I asked, playing innocent as I folded my hands in front of me.

He looked at the ground before shaking his head in bewilderment "You don't act like any other Jedi I've met." There was a soft sort of fond chuckle in his voice as he grinned.

I returned the grin with a wink that made him blush like a school boy "You'd be hard pressed to find another like me." We departed when the lift doors opened, heading to a cheap but good diner and eating our fill, before going back to my apartment. He got the bedroom while I made a stubborn show of curling up on the couch despite his protests. Nothing pleased me more than when I felt his enjoyment and the utter relaxation when he laid in the comfortable bed, deeply asleep not minutes later.


	4. 4

It was months before I saw him again, in the main hanger of the Fearless. I had stepped off of a standing room only larty, tired and dirty, when I was tackled by a rather large male covered in black Katarn "Vod'ika!" Came the joyous voice of Fi as he hauled me into the air. I yipped in startlement and gripped his upper arms until I was back on solid hanger floor, tense and staring up at him as he swirled with excitement and a thankfulness to be alive.

"Hello Fi, I'm glad she got to you in time." I smiled after a stunned moment, looking over the others as well "You too Atin, and Darman." I nodded to them before catching the t-visor of a certain spouse. I had no clue what to say to him, three months of the three month and one day marriage apart, how do you break that ice?

"Gonna say something to Sarge? He's been talking about you a lot during our deployments, 'Is she alright?', 'Did her last mission go ok? Why hasn't she messaged me yet?', 'She's so beautiful today.'." Fi teased, standing so that I was between he and Niner as he mimicked his voice down to the tone. Niner was a swirling vortex of embarrassment and annoyance, as though I was never meant to know his thoughts. I too blushed at the memory of the holopic had been sent him, a 'suggestion' of a certain politician friend of mine. I wasn't in my robes, instead on her balcony in the setting sun with the wind brushing my hair back. Truth be told, I hadn't realized she had taken and sent the photo until that night, and I had been wondering about Niner at the time. 

I blushed at the memory, practically hearing her giggle at my expense several light-years away "Hello Niner." I gave him a shy smile as I folded my hands in front of me, not realizing that one of my hands had slipped through a hole in my robes. 

"General Malcolm." He nodded, still very embarrassed. I was slightly hurt that he didn't call me by my name, but I could be understanding because we were in the main hanger surrounded by what remained of the 41st Elite. "Are you alright General?" He asked, jerking forward as though he wanted to investigate in person. I looked at him, confused for a moment, before looking down at myself. I was a sight, covered in dirt, sand, sweat, burns, and blood. I couldn't even remember if any of it was mine. 

"Oh." I hummed tiredly and peeled off my ruined robe, revealing my battle wear to everyone in eyesight. Battle wear for a female Peleian was a half meter wide breast band and fabric pants that tied at the sides, easy to Change in. A lot of flesh was exposed and I felt eyes on me from all directions, one set more hungry than any of the others'. There was a chunk of shrapnel just an inch left of my belly button and a blaster burn under my right clavicle, nothing serious. 

"Vod!" Fi cried out in alarm as he bolted the short distance to my side, already digging in his med pack for sharps and bandages. His flurry of movement had distracted me from Niner closing the distance even faster and trying to support me as he forced me to sit on some crates.

"Guys, guys, I'm fine." I tried to protest as Fi took a knee in front of me with his pack against my legs. But, honestly, I was too busy taking secret pleasure from feeling Niner's gloved hands on my flesh. It was a deceptively deep pack, it didn't look more than thirty-five centimeters deep, but he was in it past his elbow for a moment before he got what he had been looking for. "No." I said sternly, pointing my finger at him as I tried to get up and away from the two overprotective madmen. "No." I reiterated when Niner firmly held me down by my shoulders.

"Vod'ika, you can get an infection from that tinnie trash. Or you can bleed to death!" Fi retorted with annoyance and concern.

"If you stick that sharp in me, I'm going to bite both of you." I threatened, grabbing a hold of the offending metal and ripping it out of my middle. He yelped and dove forward with the gauze at the ready until he froze, head cocked slightly to the side, as the bleeding almost immediately stopped and the wound closed up in a very fine white scar. "Peleians heal from every injury besides spinal ones." I gave him a tired pat on the head as I stood, giving the shocked, stock still Niner a kiss on his bucket's cheek, before making my way up to the platform that Etain was waiting on with Commander Gett. I was eager for a hot shower and some food. 

Some hours later I woke, feeling better than I had in several days, and made my way back to the main hanger, standing on the observation deck with Etain and Gett, watching the men perform Dha Werda Verda in perfect harmony and synchronization. The pull at the base of my gut was unignorable as I lurched to a standing position, and then down the ladder before Etain could say anything. As though in a trance, I stepped into one of the large, interconnected circles, and began the movements and the words, letting the force of every strike vibrate through every fiber of my being like excellent, first thing in the morning caf. There was no one voice that was chanting the words, there was only the many blending into one. I felt in sync again in those moments, like I was right where I was supposed to be. It ended with an announcement that we would be landing soon, everyone grinning and catching their breath "I didn't know you knew the Dha Werda." A commando panted as he approached me, some of his hair matted down to his forehead with sweat. He was Boss, if I remembered correctly: I had only worked with Delta once nearly a year before. 

I grinned, adjusting my new robe "I know many things. Good to see you again." I bowed my head shallowly, not liking how the Force swirled with bright red passion around him. I found it unsettling and the ulterior motivated attention unpleasant. 

"You too, General." He grinned, trying to look seductive.

He took a step forward, making me take a step back, and I was growing ever uncomfortable and not knowing exactly what to do "General Malcolm, General Tur-Murken is requesting your presence." Niner announced from a few feet to my right, presenting me the perfect excuse to get away from the overly infatuated commando. I nodded with a thankful smile and quickly made my way towards the Knights, sending Niner an impression of relief and thanks through the Force as I passed him, watching as he never took his eyes off Boss. I prayed that it didn't ever come to blows. 

"Knights." I greeted Etain, her LJ-50 on her shoulder, and Jusik with a bow of my head as I folded my hands in front of me, waiting with them patiently for the cruiser to land and the bay door to open. When it finally did, a most welcomed sight greeted us. He said his greetings to his boys first before I joined the group "Long time, no see, Kal'buir." I greeted with a fond smile, offering him my forearm in a traditional greeting.

"How's my little Ash'ika?" He asked with a tease, knowing full well that he was both shorter and younger than myself. He clasped my arm and pulled me into a back slapping hug before releasing me to stand with Omega.

"Pfft." I snorted with a grin "How's that ankle kid?" I teased back as he shook a finger at me. I loved being able to enjoy friendships. I knew that at least one of the other Jedi were watching me like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had, I just knew that I frankly didn't care. 

A taxi appeared over the lip of the hanger door, moving fast as the prisoners I hadn't realized we were carrying, were drug forward out of obscurity. Omega moved into defensive position, Deeces pointed at the taxi with intent to kill "Check!" Kal shouted, making Omega hesitant as he stepped in front of them. But Delta aimed around him.

"If you don't check this minute, I'll make you do a hundred more push-ups in full packs." I snarled, not taking the lack of discipline lightly. They twitched but otherwise paid me no mind. As the taxi finally set down slowly, Omega stopped dead although Delta took a blink to finally stand down all the way. Que them dropping and doing one hundred push-ups.

"I'm sorry, lads." Kal spun to face the two squads "Udesii, udesii... relax. It's ours." He reassured the RCs calmly.

"Glad you pointed that out, Sarge." Niner muttered with the barest hint of annoyance as he lowered his deece, the others of Omega following suit. Behind me, Etain was laying on her belly, LJ-50 out in front of her like a sniper rifle. Her aim wasn't perfect, and she would have hit friendlies, but she was learning. After some gesturing from Fi, she finally raised her hand and stood upright, much to the relief of the men ahead of us. 

"I should have warned you that transport was coming. That was sloppy of me." The driver was a short female wookie, her fur a deep brown with several decorative beads and dreads in it. She was beautiful for one of her kind. She and Kal talked briefly before she quit arguing with him, loaded the prisoners, and moved the taxi off the hanger door and down into the traffic lanes. 

"Whoa." Fi gasped as he leaned over the edge. I crossed my arms with a crooked eyebrow, ready to stabilize him if needed. "Think I could repel that?" He asked Kal like a kid in a candy store.

"No flying today." Kal instructed gently with a hint of firmness as he and Fi backed away from the edge and turned to the rest of us just as Delta came closer, Boss standing close to me. Kal noticed and gave the two of us a confused look that was simmering under the surface. I minutely shook my head and inched away from the commando, walking behind Etain and Jusik before stopping between Dar and Atin, 'hiding' between the two of them "So, I had a proposition for a special mission." Kal began, beginning one of the most exciting chapters in the war to date. 

"Go on." I encouraged, moving my hand in a circle as I leaned a little closer, noticing Jusik do the same.

"I have all the permissions for a special ops mission. Need to find some terrorists. Interested?" Kal always got right to it if it was important to the masses. He only hemmed and hawed if it was personal. We all nodded eagerly and I started thinking of that special friend over in what I called the cosmetics district that owed me a favor. "We're working on a main base for operations, so it'll be a few days before it all starts. But prepare in those few days." We all nodded again.

Kal left to speak with the commandos again and I left the dock to go to my apartment, saying nothing to anyone on my way out.


	5. 5

I knew they knew how to contact me when the time was right. I dressed in normal clothes: a dark green shirt, a pair of black pants with so many pockets that a Mandalorian would be jealous, and a pair of nondescript black rubber soled boots. Then it was off to that friend to cash in. It was a very colorful building with a dark interior that was lit up brightly in key areas where people in bright fashion and bright hair worked on other people in bright fashion. "Asha, never thought I'd see you here." My friend greeted, her hair half shaved away and bright pink. I thought she was still gorgeous though with those black eyes of hers.

"Long time no see Meyva. I've come to collect on that favor." I stood before her with my hands in my pockets and careful slouch to my posture, not resembling a Jedi in any sense of anything. 

There was an appraising look in her eye as she began all business, circling me like a predator appraising their prey. "Do you have anything more edgy? Or is it all conservative?" She asked, picking at my shirt as though she was almost disappointed in my selection. There again, she had given me a lesson on how to appear human when I was saving her from those slavers. I guess I couldn't blame her. 

"I have risque, conservative, and things that would make even you blush." I assured her with a patient smile as she started picking at my admittedly limp brown hair and using her fingers to measure out my face. 

"Good good. How deep do you need?" She asked, knowing that the less details she had of my work, the better for her considering that what I did was generally dangerous.

"I need to be barely recognizable. I don't care what it takes and I'm willing to pay if need be." I was adamant about not looking myself because I had gone deep cover with my face before and couldn't do it again for at least fifty standard years. 

She was suddenly solemn, realizing the depth of my work "As long as you refer others to me, it's on the house." She nodded with finality and drug me into a back room by the wrist. It took a better part of a day for her to strip my hair of all color until it was as white as Hoth, to put red temporary pigment under my skin at the bottom of my cheekbones towards my nose and from the center of my lower lip to the hollow of my collarbone, she even changed the color of my eyes so that they looked human. Her final act was to change my clothes into something that would fit in with the masses better, a gold crop top, with my pants, and boots. "Take this, you'll need it." She whispered, handing me a small bag. I opened it to see everything I would need in a basic makeup set: a full range palette, several shades of lipstick, all manners of brushes, illuminators, mascara, and foundation that matched my skin tone. I tried to slip her some credits, but she wouldn't let me. Instead reminding me to refer her to others before shooing me out of the salon. I spent the time waiting for Kal to give the signal in my apartment, working on changing my voice and tone enough to fool people. 

Then the call came, Kal requesting my attendance to a meeting at the Arca Barracks and I answered, making my way as quickly as possible. I was early, Delta and Omega were playing a ball game and Etain and Bardan were playing with them. I couldn't recognize the game as I ducked under the ball that was sailing towards my head, making three people pause "Vod!" Fi exclaimed brightly as I removed the hood of my robe. The sight of my new look made him stop in his tracks, eyeing me cautiously for a moment before grinning broadly again and swooping me into a hug. I liked feeling warm and accepted, it really made me feel good about my sins. Like it was all worth it, in the end. "Can't fool me vod'ika." He laughed as he set me down, ruffling the white hair that was thankfully unstyled.

I beamed up at the jovial man as the ball went sailing three feet from our shoulders "I'm glad Fi." I gave him a friendly little punch on the shoulder to reinforce my pleasure. 

"You wanna join us?" Fi asked like a hopeful puppy. I knew what damage I could cause if I wasn't paying attention "Sarge! Come convince Asha to play with us!" He called out to Niner, who got distracted for a moment and the ball grazed his nose as he barely dodged Scorch. 

I crossed my arms, refocusing on Fi because, frankly, Niner with messy hair was a bit distracting and attractive. "Fi, I can't play with commandos. I'll hurt you without realizing it." I could see the excuse brewing in those big brown eyes "And I'm an osik healer." I frowned as he flinched at my use of Mando'a. All soldiers flinched at my use of it. "I'll be the cheerleader. How does that sound vod'ika?" I asked with a pleasant little smile as I turned the word against him. He gave me a goofy little grin before ruffling my hair again and rejoining the game. Before I moved to sit down, I couldn't help but notice how Boss stared at me for a lingering moment.

I picked at the corners of my robe, stumped as to how to resolve the growing problem that was named Boss. I could feel the tension growing, the more interest he displayed in me. I was almost surprised that Niner hadn't given him a black eye yet, but Niner was patient, he would wait until I couldn't resolve the issue myself. Time passed quickly as I thought, cheering when Omega made a score, until the whirlwind named Kal came in "Armor!" He roared as soon as he was through the doors. I could barely stop myself from snapping my attention towards him as his voice filled every crevice of the parade ground. Everyone froze like deer caught in the headlights "I said wear some ARMOR! No injuries! You hear me?" I got up anyway, making my way to the closest member of Omega squad, Atin, and stood tensely. 

Kal covered the distance between himself and Jusik in a matter of milliseconds, limp nowhere to be found as he got in his face "Sir, I regret to have to tell you that you're a di'kut."

"Sorry, Sergeant." Jusik looked positively contrite with a bloody nose and sweaty hair. "My fault. Won't happen again." He assured, trying to appease the man in front of him. Kal really did know how to dominate an entire crowd of people when he wanted to.

"No injuries. Not now. Okay sir?"

"Understood, Sergeant."

Kal suddenly flipped a switch, grinning and ruffling Jusik's hair like he was one of his sons "You're definitely ori'atin, Bard'ika. Just don't get yourself killed."

Jusik beamed proudly, taking the compliment for what it was. Kal had paid him a high praise, calling him tough, and using the affectionate form of his name. He was thus dubbed "Little Bardan," making him one of the Skirata Clan. He jogged off after the commandos to get cleaned up inside the building. I sat back down as Kal went to speak with Etain, enjoying a few more minutes in the sun before Kal motioned for us to move into the meeting room where Delta and Omega were loosely broken up into their groups on either side of the table. The only two who really exuded the sense of distance was Atin and Sev. I sat between Niner and Jusik as the wookie came in, Kal directing her to the largest chair in the room before locking the doors.


	6. 6

"Ordo, have you swept the room for bugs?" Kal asked mainly as a formality than an actual concern. 

"Yes, Sergeant."

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is strictly for those in this room. If anyone wants out, now's the time to say." 

"Observe the complete lack of movement, Sarge," Scorch said. "Nobody's passing on this one."

"I didn't think so. From now on, there's no General or sir or Sergeant or designation codes, and no Jedi robes. There is no rank. There is no chain of command beyond me. If I'm otherwise engaged or dead then you answer to Ordo. Got it?" The Wookie threw him three bundles of clothing that he in turn lobbed at Etain, Jusik, and I. She caught hers and stared at it with wide eyes as though it was covered in bugs "Plainclothes, kids. You clone lads are just soldiers on leave, and us mongrels are... well, Etain and Asha can pass for my daughters and Bard'ika is a useful deadbeat I picked up on my travels, a go-fer." I raised my brow at Kal, but said nothing as I opened my robe, revealing the street clothes I had hidden underneath. Kal nodded in approval after giving me a once over, happy that I had thought ahead. I was just happy that I had chosen something that was remotely Mando.

The wookie gave a long contented trill. "This is Enacca, by the way." Kal indicated to her with a polite flourish. "She's our quartermaster and mobility troop-she'll secure supplies and transport for us. You ever worked with wookies?" 

While the commandos shook their heads with wide eyes, I nodded, giving Enacca a nod and a growl of greeting. She returned one with a happy hand gesture. "Well, everything you've heard is true." Kal gestured to Ordo as though nothing had happened, and a holoprojection streamed from the ARC's glove onto the wall. It was a chart with arrows and labels on it. "So here's what we have so far. One, we have a point of origin for the explosives. Two, we think we have someone in the GAR logistics or support, or in the CSF, who is either passing information or being careless with it. Now, what we don't have is a link in the chain between the following terror cells: materials to bomb manufacture; bomb manufacture to placement cell; and placement cell to recce and surveillance cell- in other words, the ones who tell them where to place the device and when to detonate it."

Ordo had his projection arm resting on his chair to both steady the image and rest the appendage. "And Vau is trying to extract at least one link from the cell Omega lifted." I glanced to Niner to see how he was taking the news, but he was stoic as ever, focused solely on the map, though his booted foot came to rest against my own as though he knew I was looking at him with silent questions. I had to duck my head to hide my blush. A second later though, I decided to be devious and rubbed my foot up and down his leg, being sure to move slowly and deliberately. He looked over at me through the corner of his eye, his cheeks tinted with a satisfying blush. His right hand came over to grip my knee, pulling a soft gasp from my lips that went ignored by everyone but Boss. I could feel the commando's attention on me as I tried to appear as focused as possible while Niner's hand went up higher on my thigh. I was sorely tempted to grab his hand, but knew that would make a scene and attract attention. 

"Everything alright Asha?" Kal asked suddenly, taking pleasure in the fact that my blush deepened when I realized that Niner and I and been caught like a couple of teens. 

I cleared my throat when my mouth suddenly went dry, my nervous heart beating in my chest. Naturally, the Soul was smug and content. Karkfish. "All good, buir." I nodded. Kal puffed up a bit in pride when I called him father, while the two Jedi and Delta squad looked at me strangely. Fi couldn't look any more smug than he did, realizing that he knew more than others in the room did. I made sure to send him an impression of me kicking him in the jewels through the Force to insure his silence. The color drained from his face as he cleared his throat.

Kal grinned with mischief before getting back to business "Anyway, back to what we were discussing. That's why Etain's going to do it. I need you out and about at the moment."

Etain looked like she was about to be sick at whatever they had been discussing, going a little green as Jusik watched her carefully. He felt like he was about to jump in and save her, being a sort of hero type that enjoyed finding where he belonged. It was easy to see that he fit like a cog in Kal's machine. "Okay." Etain finally said after a few seconds of being still. She looked like she was having an inner monologue with herself to get herself to do whatever Kal was wanting her to "I'll do whatever I can."

"Good." He nodded before moving on with the conversation as though nothing had ever happened. "Now, the data Atin sliced is just a list of thirty-five thousand companies using the freight service that Vau's guests were apparently hitching a ride with. That means lots of physical checking we can't do ourselves." Kal said disappointedly, he liked a good rough and tough, always had. "So Obrim's running it through his database--- his personal, special one--- to see if any of them have form in customs irregularities, shady dealings, or even a speeding ticket. While he does that, we ship out. Jusik, Enacca is going to turn you into the galaxy's scruffiest taxi pilot, Asha, you're going to stick to Ordo and I like glue, and the rest of you can draw your EXTRA kit--- by which I mean discreet body armor, plainclothes rig, and civilian weapons." 

"Aww Sarge..." Fi started, not liking the idea of being kit-less.

"Fi, you'll love it. You might even get to wear Hokan's helmet." Kal grinned, making the jokester perk up and beam.

"Just for you, then, Sarge." He tried to make it seem like he was only agreeing to agree. But it was plain to see how eager for the prospect he was.

"Good boy. Okay, we all RV back here at twenty-one-hundred hours when it's nice and dark." Kal gestured to Ordo to kill the holoprojection and then beckoned to Etain and I. "Generals, Ordo--- with me." Niner casually scraped his nails across the span of leg as he removed his hand from my thigh, causing a bolt of lightning to hit my core in a pleasurable flash. I bit my lip to not make a sound at it as I stood and followed the other three down the hallway, through the parade ground, and to an old speeder. 

"Are you starting up a used-speeder dealership with Enacca?" Etain tried to joke, though it fell flat like a bird with broken wings. "They don't draw attention, though, I'll admit that." She tried again as I walked past them and took a seat in the back.

"Get in. Time to go to work." Kal ordered a little sharply. Some times, he made it seem like she rubbed him the wrong way. When we all got in, Ordo got the speeder up to a relaxed lane and traveled in a sedate manner. I dropped into meditation during the travel, looking into the Force for answers and guidance. All I got was the impression that I should start leaving Jedi morals far behind, sooner rather than later. 

I felt Etain brush against me in the Force, making me focus on her and how unsure she was. She was unsure about whether or not Kal was testing her loyalty and resolve, and if she could adhere to the code any longer. I gave her reassurance through the Force before she started focusing on the complexity that was Ordo. His signature in the Force went into further turmoil when he noticed that she was focusing on him, even as I tried to push her focus away from the Null, knowing first hand that Nulls didn't care too much for the attention. Even with my pushing, and his hidden bristling, she still tried to figure him out "Are you alright, ma'am?" He asked with that careful calm. It was only then that she steered clear of him. 

"I'm fine." She answered nervously, swallowing hard "What... what can I do that Walon Vau can't?" She asked, wavering slightly. It confused me that she thought so lowly about herself. She was a Jedi Knight, she had completed her trials, she had helped with the war effort on Qiilura. It didn't make sense to me, that she would have such a low opinion of her abilities. 

"Are you ready to hear some unpleasant things?" Buir asked, not looking back at her, instead watching the traffic.

"I have to be." 

Kal suddenly looked tired and stressed, letting us all in on something that had been a thorn in his side for a length of time by that point "You can train people to resist interrogation. That's the fancy phrase for torture, and I don't like using it. I know, because I've done it, and hard-line terrorists get trained much like soldiers do. But they don't get trained to resist Jedi. And that gives you a psychological advantage as well as a real one." I didn't have to ask why I was there, I was damage control, a back up in case she couldn't do it, and/or I was there to stop her if she suddenly turned to the dark side. A chill went up my spine at the thought of having to put Etain down, and that Kal thought he needed an insurance policy. 

"Nikto are supposed to be tough."

"Humans can be tough, too."

It didn't take a Force user to see that Kal was distressed by the entire topic, reliving memories and dark thoughts that plague us all in the dark still of the night. "Kal, who's finding this more unpleasant? You or me?" Etain asked, somewhere between concerned and confused. 

"Vod and I are here, buir." I murmured, grasping Kal's upper arm tightly enough to be reassuring. 

He patted my hand, glancing at both Ordo and I for a split second "Me." 

"I thought so."

"It comes back to you at times like this." Ordo and I shared concerned glances through the rear view, both of us knowing just how many sleepless nights that Kal regularly had because of his guilt and shame. 

"So who... trained Omega?" Etain asked, poking the Wampa at that point. I tried to warn her away through the Force, knowing Ordo would start becoming protective at any given point, and she REALLY didn't want him to. 

"Me." Kal answered as neutrally as possible, getting defensive himself. 

"Oh."

"Would you have let anyone else do it, if you were me?" The answer was obvious, you couldn't let anyone do your dirty work when training soldiers. It created a disconnect, a rift. Trust could not be properly established. 

"No." There was a strong finality in her tone that said she understood too "No, I wouldn't." 

"Well..." Kal paused for a moment, collecting himself into that carefully composed visage again "If I can train my boys, then you should have no trouble doing what Vau can't." I shut everything out from there, not wanting to hear where Kal was going from there. Anger was dangerous for a Peléian Jedi, and I could become wrath incarnate at the drop of a hat.


	7. 7

The safe house was certainly surprising, being a flat in a part of the planet that was on its way up, the Brewery. Ordo landed on a discreet awning platform, powering off the speeder before any of us got out. "Nice place Kal, hope no one throws a fit over it." I grinned over at him knowingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"No worries, Zey is going to shit biscuits when he sees the bill." He gave that classic Skirata grin, reassuring me that he would be okay at the end of the day. Ordo left for errands, the speeder taking off with a hum as it joined the rest of the traffic. We all entered the lobby, shutting out the noise of the area completely. Kal was a smart cookie that was certain. 

Etain was far from comfortable though, arms crossed tightly over her chest, hair escaping from its plait, clothes rumpled, and an awkwardness to her that made her seem more like a child than a Jedi. Kal took a look at her and melted, becoming more of a father figure in less than a blink "You up to this ad'ika?" It made me smile as I stayed behind them, happy that he seemed to be warming up to the girl "If not, walk away now." He gave her another chance to walk away, to go back to the Temple and be assigned to something else. 

"No. I'm not backing out now." She certainly surprised him with her hidden strength. Kal studied her for another moment before hitting a buzzer to the main part of the flat, the door softly whishing open not a moment later. 

To say that Kal merely flinched at the smell of the Strill, was an understatement. He looked like it was about to bowl him over. I looked for the creature with a smile, but couldn't find it. Instead, there sat Vau, looking like he hadn't slept in days in his brooding. But he was waiting for us, tapping his fingers on the table to keep his mind running. The man at the table with him stank of sweat, fear, and blood. I was nearly ashamed to say that the scent made the Soul very hungry for a good hunt. I couldn't stop the eager growl that escaped my closed lips, rumbling through the walls of my throat. Kal rested a hand on my shoulder, a knowing gleam in his eyes. I had been remiss in my duties to myself and the Soul. My cheeks bloomed with shame as I tried to reassure him with a tight lipped smile. I would not let instinctual needs hinder the needs of the mission. 

Vau grabbed the man by his hair, lifting his head to look him over before returning him carefully "You're the relief watch, then, Jedi?" Vau stood with a stretch, his old joints clicking and popping. When he was satisfied, he motioned to the empty chair "All yours." 

Etain was surprised, and a little taken off balance by the casual scene, but looked to Vau as though she expected someone who didn't look so... normal. "Where are the other two?" Kal asked, taking the scene away from the surprise. 

"Nikto number one is M'truli, and he's in the small bedroom." Vau was business as usual, as though he was talking about a grain shipment instead of prisoners. A chill went down my spine at the fact that he could kill everyone in the flat and not be too inconvenienced by emotions. "Nikto number two is Gysk, and he's in the study." It was like the man was talking about dinner guests. It was unnerving. The Soul chuffed through my lips, disappointed, before my comm provided a much needed distraction. I tuned everything out as I opened the screen to Niner's message 'Dinner date tonight if we can?'. 

I grinned softly at the question, knowing it would be a very late meal if everything worked in its favor 'If we can. How's packing?' I answered, cocking my head to the side. If I had looked up, I would have noticed both of the older men watching me, one of them with a knowing smile. It was a few moments before I got a picture of a grumpy Niner in civilian dress and several packs with various tactical items in them. His hair was brushed back and gleaming, hinting that he had taken a shower, and his brown eyes were broody but hopeful. I couldn't help but bite my lip at the sight 'Awww. Poor Sarge, whatever shall I do to cheer you up?' I almost didn't hear Kal's chuckle, but it made me realizing that I was biting my lip and laughing at my comm. My cheeks instantly caught fire as I ducked my head down to hide behind my hair. 

I really wasn't prepared for the message that followed, my cheeks becoming bonfires 'I can think of a few things ;)' Oh Force, I was in trouble. Not that I really minded, I knew that Niner would never intentionally hurt me. 

'Oh?' I sent back to test his resolve. I really shouldn't have tested though, a turned on Commando who was most likely still a virgin could be very dirty, and I didn't realize that until after I sent the message. 

'I'll show you after our date.' He promised as I got goosebumps and a shiver ran down my spine. Oh Force, was I in trouble. Did I care? Yaaaaaaa no. Not really.


End file.
